In 2008, I was diagnosed with high functioning autism.
I’d had very little knowledge of autism before this diagnosis. I was being assessed by a clinical psychologist to see if I was suitable for cognitive behavioural therapy for my problems with anxiety. During the session she told me that she thought I was probably on the autistic spectrum and asked me if I would like to have a diagnosis. This came completely out of the blue as my problems had always been put down to severe anxiety, depression and OCD.
The diagnosis took three sessions, each session lasted around 2 hours. There was also an hour long telephone conversation with one of my parents in order to get some childhood background. I was then invited back for another appointment at which time I was told that I definitely had High functioning autism. This diagnosis was preferred over Asperger syndrome because of my delayed speech development as a child. During this session I was given quite a lot of information about my brand of autism. It felt as though I was joining an exclusive club that only a few special people belonged to. I felt like I suddenly had answers to questions I’d had my whole life.
I was given all these new terms to search for in Google, Neural typical, theory of mind, weak central coherence and the triad of impairments. I felt like celebrating. It was like finally getting “closure” on all the difficulties I’d had all these years. I was so relieved to finally have the answer. I thought that autism specific services would be offered to me and I would get lots of support from professionals that would give me useful information and help me to function more effectively in the world.
So what did happened next?
Well nothing really. There was not an autistic fairy godmother waving her magic wand, turning me into anything other than I already was. Pretty soon I realised I was on my own. I still had my severe mental health problems that seemed as untreatable as ever, and now added to the mix I had this new category of symptoms called autism that I was struggling to make sense of. Things went from bad to worse and there seemed to be no new solutions. Gradually through many hours spent researching autism on Google along with some different medications for anxiety and depression, I began to get some understanding of what autism means to me and how I am affected by it’s symptoms.
Within a few months of my diagnosis I had began a new life. I gave up some of my freelance work and applied for jobs that I thought I would be happier with. Everything began to fall into place. The hard part was trying to work out “who I was” now that I was living with the knowledge that I was on the autistic spectrum.
Getting diagnosed with high functioning autism has been a very positive experience
Absolutely yes. I can be a lot more forgiving of myself when I act in a certain way or find social situations uncomfortable. I do not just feel like a stupid person any more as I did before I had my diagnosis. It has improved my self esteem and confidence.
I’m not saying that life is perfect now. Far from it. I still have my mental health problems and I still struggle with my autistic symptoms and the resulting anxiety. But overall I feel like I am so much more in control of my life and I continue to learn about autism.
The more I learn, the better life gets.
Thanks for reading-Steve
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I am on a list for diagnosis but this could take years..am not in a good place with it all..well personally i am but it’s causing problems for others which is upsetting me..interesting though to see my interactions from the new perspective..stims and childlike reactions..I feel very curious and interested in them..just “oh that’s why that happens!” not judgmental at all but I feel like I’ve regressed as the mask slips and am not functioning..maybe it’s a phase..maybe not..I’ll find out… meanwhile discussion forums are helping immensely as there seems to be no other help available.
I have debated whether or not to get an official diagnoses. I have learned a lot about autism through my son and that is where I figured I had it. Looked into some online tests and sure enough based on diagnoses qualifications I qualified on all three tests I took. IDK for me if it is even worth trying to get the official diagnoses if I accept that I have it and know what it is and how it works for the most part. I don’t have any major mental health issues and have found how to work through many things that I just thought were normal things people had to work through until I learned about autism. I still have eye contact issues, but not really much anyone else can help me with, been working on it myself.
Hi Kristin
I think that if you feel the “autistic” symptoms/traits affect your life in a big way, it may be worth considering speaking to a psychologist.
Having a diagnosis definitely helped me get some understanding. I had no idea I had autism until a psychologist said she thought I had it.
I have spoken to many people that have found it very beneficial to have a diagnosis. It’s like getting a kind of “closure.”
Getting to finally discover the source of your difficulties. I think I would have been in a very bad place without a diagnosis.
Best wishes, Steve
Hey Steve.
I totally agree with you!
Here in the Netherlands we have autism information markets every once in a while. This is a very great way to see what kind of help is out there and speak directly with professionals to see what they are like. Also, if you can’t find the right help there, there’s bound to be someone who knows where you CAN find the right help.
I don’t know if they have those information markets where you live too (or or an autism café or something similar?), but it might be something worth looking into.
Hi Issha
That sounds pretty good about the autism information markets, are they like seminars where people meet?
An autism cafe sounds like a great idea actually, I’m going to find out if there are any here in London.
Best wishes, Steve
Hey Steve,
I have never actually attended a seminar, so I can’t say for sure. From what I know about them, I think they’re similar. An Autism Informationmarket is simply a place filled with stands from organisations that deal with autism in all fields. They are there to give information and hand out flyers and things like that.
Today I attended an autism ‘congres’. There was a huge autism informationmarket and there was a whole programme of professionals giving presentations on a big stage. Professionals often go to these things to keep up on the latest news on autism and to learn more. I went there to get information for myself and to network for the weekly autism meeting that I run.
Autism cafés are usually themed, where they speak about different subjects within autism and socialise.
The weekly autism meeting that I run is slightly different from that. We’re not there for information on autism. We’re simply there to provide a ‘safe’ environment for people with autism to socialise. We do lots of fun things and use those activities to help in the act of socialising. Because it is run by people with autism, there’s a big understanding. Also, having people with autism together creates a very understanding environment too. This makes for a place where you’re suddenly not the ‘strange’ person in the other person’s eyes, which makes socialising a lot easier too.
That’s the difference between the autism cafés and what I’m doing.
You got me interested in how this works in other countries though… Is this something that happens all over the world, or should we still make that happen? If you find out anything like that in London, please inform me. I’d love to investigate this. 🙂
Hi Issha.
Thanks for your message. There are a few “social groups” arranged for autistic people scattered around London. I really like the idea of having autism “friendly” cafes, where autistic people can go to practise their social skills. I will do some research to find out if there are any in London.
Regards
Steve