Managing emotions is a hugely important factor in the life of autistic people and those around them.
I am an adult with High functioning autism and In my work as a tutor for the National Autistic Society in London I work with many autistic people that struggle to cope with their often intense and out of control emotions.
The majority of autistic people, myself included, have very childlike emotional responses and can get upset very quickly often over seemingly unimportant things yet can feel quite detached at times when a neurotypical may think it’s “normal” to be emotional.
Many autistic people live constantly in a heightened state of emotional turmoil. We can be extremely hypersensitive as we worry about everything from past events to what is presently going on around us to what may happen in the future.
The other factor is how autistic people tend to obsess about things, usually with negative results. These obsessive thoughts can keep us in a poor state of mental health sometimes leading to depression and anxiety.
Many people with Asperger’s syndrome or High functioning autism have great difficulty dealing with other people, whether it’s people in authority such as the police for example where a lack of emotional control could lead to being arrested or with social situations when our lack of ability to understand other peoples intentions can leave us feeling defensive and upset.
So how can autistic people cope with these overpowering emotions?
Teaching autistic to manage their emotions takes time and patience on the part of both the facilitator and the autistic person.
For people that have the appropriate level of cognitive ability, the use of social stories, a system devised by Carol Gray may be of benefit in teaching appropriate emotional responses.
The use of Cognitive behavioural therapy by a clinical psychologist is sometimes used to help autistic people re frame their negative thought patterns. However I would say from personal experience that Cognitive behavioural therapy can be of limited use. This is because many autistic people have great difficulty in understanding abstract concepts and struggle to process the information given to them by the psychologist.
Doctors may prescribe medication to help autistic people regulate their emotions, but this has not been effective for me and is in itself not the complete answer.
What has been very effective for me in the past have been relaxation techniques such as Shiatsu massage. This calms me down and for a few days can help keep my intense emotions in check. I also listen to guided meditation cds. This is not bad sometimes although it can be difficult to concentrate when I’m in an intense emotional state.
In my opinion the way forward is to experiment with the various techniques described in this article. It may be that a combination of these will be effective along with perseverance and a combined effort from both family and professionals.
Autism is a life long developmental disorder and in the majority of cases the struggle with our emotions is also likely to be a life long one.
Steve
I am 50 & my GP, thanks to new ideas about autism and masking causing some people with autism not to be recognised, has referred me for an assessment.
Suddenly I am finding there is not some mental deficiency caused by some unexplainable hypersensitivity causing my intense emotions and empathy. Something I have tried to figure out all my life, wondering am I really so pathetic teasing started me towards being like this. Issues with relating to people, mistaking peoples intentions leading to my not seeming to learn and thus keep getting hurt, at times badly until the only safe places seems to be in solitude.
Feeling to exhausted to deal with people or feeling their feelings as if my own. Thus more human avoidance. Then stupid meltdowns like if a drink is spilt.
Strange mannerisms when exhausted like flicking fingers on my t-shirt sleeves or when stressed. Something I have tried to stop all my life, it annoyed my mum when I was a child and teenager it destroys the t-shirt in the end.
Suddenly there maybe a reason, not some unexplainable aberration. Thank you for this article, I feel less alone now with my intense emotions.
I’m a 53 year old male and only just begun to be assessed with Aspergers after years of apparently being misdiagnosed with BPD.
I’ve just stumbled across your article Steve and you have just described me down to a tee. Years of psych meds have done nothing but make me more unstable and volatile.
Ticking all the boxes recently for Alexithymia has made me realise how many years I have wasted relying on under-resourced NHS practitioners.
I didn’t because of my own skepticism of Private Healthcare in th UK but would urge any Adults who suspect they or a close one is on the Autism Spectrum to pay Privately and not wait unnecessaryily like I have for literally decades, to get the right help from NHS Mental Health Services.
I’ve been struggling all my life with this problem but only two months ago I’ve discovered that I’m in the autistic spectrum. And yesterday because I had an emotional meltdown episode and got very angry for the most silly thing in the world, I’ll lose the love of my life. Probably being alone is my outcome.
The article is very helpful. Should I share with my boyfriend just in case he changes his mind of giving up on me? Thanks
I found your article very interesting and am keen to discuss this further with some one. My mother has just passed away aged 89 and I believe that all her life she struggled with relationships and social situations. I work with children with special needs and have worked with autistic children but did not associate my mothers behaviour with the behaviour of the children at school because she was an adult. It was only as she became more dependant on me that I began to understand what she may have been experiencing all her life. It is too late for my mother now to try any of the techniques mentioned and the type of person she was I think she would not have been amenable to them but I would urge any one else so may think they need help to try anything and everything that might work. It would have helped my mother and the rest of the family to a calmer , more pleasant life.
This is the exact problem the older ones (myself included) have faced all our lives. Ignorance and the misguided efforts to “help” did nothng to change that situation