In recent years, there has been an increasing amount of older adults being diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder.
If, like me you were diagnosed with autism in your late 4o’s, we may share a similar story. It goes something like this:
- As a child in the 1960’s, or 1970’s, you suffered from anxiety and depression. You may have “stuck out” because you appeared different to the other children. You found school work difficult, and had a hard time understanding what the teacher was saying. As a result you often fell behind the other children.
- You may have been labelled as slow, maladjusted or even retarded. During your teenage years, you found it hard to make, or keep friends. If you were able to find work, except for a few high achieving aspies, you probably found mostly low paid jobs, and struggled to make a living.
- You may have been plagued by continuous mental health problems for most of your life. Your depression and anxiety seems to be untreatable even with medication and therapy.
- You have wondered why your life has always been so difficult, and why no one has been able to help you.
- Finally in your 40’s, 50’s or even 60’s, you’ve found out that you were on the autistic spectrum.
So does this story sound anything like yours?
Did you find that finally getting the correct diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder, was a positive experience?
Share your experiences.
Thanks for reading Steve
Is there anyone out there? I was hoping that there might be some point to me expressing something of my experience here. I already have a Masters degree in social isolation and have no need to reveal myself to another empty space. Philip.
I am 61 and have a long psychiatric history. So after 40yrs of endless diagnosis’s and every concievable treatment I have been told I have Aspergers. At school I was put in classes for backward students and choose to escape their confines by leaving at 14yo having learned only one thing. That I did not know how to learn. My life has been one of extreme social isolation, very poor social skills and an indifference to the mundane nature of social discourse. I have experienced life long depression, anxiety manifesting in various forms. In an attempt to communicate with the outside world which has largely consisted of Psychiatrists in hospital I began to write short stories as I found it impossible to express anything I felt was authentic about myself within the usual structure of a ‘consulation’. These, of course were never read. So apart from winning some writing competitions they really achieved nothing of value. I have never had a girlfriend, been married and am still a virgin. Probably like a lot of people whose oddness and eccentric behaviour consigned them to the revolving door of the Psychiatric system I developed methods to survive within a world I could not comphrehend. I don’t know where my language skills came from but they developed to the point where I was able to enrole at University as a mature age student and somehow find myself passing exams, and yet, not having the experience of having learned anything. I have much to learn about Aspergers but from the little I have read I am starting to gain a little insight into whatever it is I am.
I haven’t been diagnosed but have been wondering wtf is wrong with me for a long time & just recently looking into this…, Just scored a 38 on the AQ Test…, I’m 30 years old, unemployed mostly aside from occasional odd jobs & 20 bucks a week janitorial…, Never held down a steady job, longest was like 8 days at a temp job…., I’ve become a bit of an alcoholic…, I have a Genius IQ, Was qualified for the Talented & Gifted Program in Grade school…, Always got crappy grades though…, but on several occasions where I was allowed to make up missed assignments or work on my own I was able to do things like make up about a half a school years assignments in one day all with good passing grades, A’s B’s a couple C’s maybe…, with little effort…
Never Really Fit in, I seem to just Think Differently, I was diagnosed with ADHD, & Tourettes Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder & Social Anxiety…, though I’ve felt the Tourettes Diagnosis maybe Incorrect…., Fuck Shit motherfucker……, < Joking…
I don't do that.., or a lot of the things associated with Tourettes… I do have ticks though so IDK, Pretty controlled ticks now but more major as a child…
Long story short I'm kind of screwed up…, I mean I find myself to be generally smarter & more capable of doing things than most people & YET…., I can't seem to socialize with normal people, can't hold down a job…., or properly prioritize…, I always kinda put the cart before the horse…., Like I have to Get some Object I want That I can't afford , & then I'll get a job…, as opposed to the rational I'll get a job & make the money to get the thing….,
IDK man…, sorry for ranting…, I don’t know what to do…
“I sometimes feel like an alien creature
for which there is no earthly explanation
Sure I have human form
walking erect and opposing digits,
but my mind is upside down.
I feel like a run-on sentence
in a punctuation crazy world.
and I see the world around me
like a mad collective dream.
An endless stream of people
move like ants from the freeway
cell phones, pc’s, and digital displays
“In Money We Trust,”
we’ll find happiness
the prevailing attitude;
like a genetically modified irradiated Big Mac
is somehow symbolic of food.
Morality is legislated
prisons over-populated
religion is incorporated
the profit-motive has permeated all activity
we pay our government to let us park on the street
And war is the biggest money-maker of all
we all know missile envy only comes from being small.
Politicians and prostitutes
are comfortable together
I wonder if they talk about the strange change in the weather.
This government was founded by, of, and for the people
but everybody feels it
like a giant open sore
they don’t represent us anymore
And blaming the President for the country’s woes
is like yelling at a puppet
for the way it sings
Who’s the man behind the curtain pulling the strings?
A billion people sitting watching their TV
in the room that they call living
but as for me
I see living as loving
and since there is no loving room
I sit on the grass under a tree
dreaming of the way things used to be
Pre-Industrial Revolution
which of course is before the rivers and oceans, and skies were polluted
before Parkinson’s, and mad cows
and all the convoluted cacophony of bad ideas
like skyscrapers, and tree paper, and earth rapers
like Monsanto and Dupont had their way
as they continue to today.
This was Pre-us
back when the buffalo roamed
and the Indian’s home
was the forest, and God was nature
and heaven was here and now
Can you imagine clean water, food, and air
living in community with animals and people who care?
Do you dare to feel responsible for every dollar you lay down
are you going to make the rich man richer
or are you going to stand your ground
You say you want a revolution
a communal evolution
to be a part of the solution
maybe I’ll be seeing you around.”
WOODY HARRELSON
I was diagnosed in late 2011 at 41. I can relate to most of these characteristics.
I did reasonably well at school academically but was often distracted and unfocused. My grades were moderate and I changed schools a number of times. I managed to get through a higher education but at the very last moment failed to get the degree.
Work has been similarly erratic and I’ve only worked at two jobs for a longer period of time; two and three years.
I’ve never felt I was on my way towards something, a career, a relationship, a life — as others seemed to be.
The diagnosis helped a lot; or at least: it explained a lot and offered a functonial tool to work with. And it excluded other disorders that I thought could be the cause of my ramshackle life and repeated phases of depression, disintegration and deflation.
I’m not (back?) on my feet yet though. I have some services and support but they move very slowly and there doesn’t seem to be a plan. I’m hoping this fall a number of programs will kick off and I can begin working out where I want to go.
I want so much to do something.
Hi Nils
thanks for leaving a message. Your history of depression and general difficulty throughout life, seem to be a familiar pattern with adults that have turned out to be on the autistic spectrum. Like you, I also had many years of depression. anxiety etc. until I finally had a diagnosis age 48.
I agree with you about how a diagnosis gives us something to work with. A place to move forward from in our lives.
Do you have any interests or hobbies that you develop in to a possible career?
Possibly in computing, art for example?
Steve
Hi Steve,
Really appreciate the info on your blog and I have enjoyed your videos on YouTube as well. I’ve also thought about starting my own Podcast because I have so much to say and know one close to you wants to listen. I have contemplated on making one because I have an Internet Celebrity status because of what I do, so I’m not sure how that will go over.
My close family does NOT want to hear that I have a so-called “syndrom”. To them I am normal. They say there is nothing wrong with me, I’m just a little slow. And my favorite one…”Everyone has a different personality” according to neurotypicals.
But the truth is, family thinks it’s an excuse and “label making”. Family and friends have there OWN problems so why should they feel sorry for you? And family does not want to change or adjust to fit “my needs” because of the label “Aspergers”. So it’s a threat to them. And truthfully I have never implied they needed to change for me. It was simply to help THEM, not me. Yes I have some anger towards it.
My story is long but I’ll try to keep it short. I’m 42. My ex-wife said I could be autistic back when I was 34. So I took a few online tests and it said I was full-blown. I told my ex-wife and she said “Oh I’m so sorry”. Was a very insulting comment and arrogant response from a neurotypical. I didn’t take it seriously until about 2 years ago.
Being in the spectrum has its gifts with talent, but outside of those talents you are considered a loser, slow, stupid, or failure when it comes to normal and social day-to-day things.
I figured out a technique to make my story super short. So here we go.
School problems noticed in 2nd grade… was bulied for no reason… started counseling in 3rd grade… started Special education…. became a computer assistant in 4th grade… taught 6th graders how to use computers in the 4th grade… got in trouble in class… I was removed from current school and placed into a stricken school where they grade you per hour and punish for bad behavior… started high-school with Special Ed… threw my home work away… they gave me school counseling… my friends were always 2 grades lower then me… my friends had no friends either so it worked out ok… I was the only one in high school to become a teacher assistant for computers and video productions… I started working for a professional video company when I was 16… my Aspergers caved on me and people started to make fun of me… Was employed at 32 different places… couldn’t hold a job longer then 3 months… one time I just walked off the job… I was also “let go” so many times… I started losing friends… I wanted to make music for movies and dance… I did graphic design for money working from home… then my entrepreneur life started… I created the largest graphics design resources on the internet back in 1999. Was voted “class clown” and “Most Talkative” in the school year book two years in a row.. my highest class grade was a C.
I was labeled ADHD/ADD. This was the only diagnosis they had back in the 80’s. There was no “Aspergers” back then. So I took my life into my own hands and started doing about 15 online tests and tons of reading. I’m planning on getting the “official” diagnosis in Florida soon.
I can become very proficient in any artistic skill very quickly rather it’s sound design, synthesis music, drawing, film making, motion design, precision graphics, 3d modeling and photography.
I also got in trouble with a Con-aritst because of being so naive and lost $65,000 over time. However, this experience has made me MUCH less vulnerable and naive which is good.
My Symptoms…
Don’t like Rules.
I Imitate People and how they talk.
Do not get social ques. Need to be direct with me.
Ultra sensitive
Clothes have to be soft.
Super hearing.
Smell is really sensitive.
I take things literally.
I probably won’t get the joke for about a minute.
Continuing a conversation from 30 minutes ago. For example, I will just blurt out something like “I’m going to keep it up and see how things workout”…. My wife will be like “What are you talking about again”.
I’m super clumsy. Drop things, spill things.
Saying rude things without knowing it.
For example, if I see the owner from a coffee shop at Wal-mart, they might wonder where I have been. Normally I would just come right out and say “I quit coffee because it was ruining my health”. The owner could become very offended. But the more appropriate thing to say would be.. “You know I’ve really missed you guys, but I decided to cut back as I’m trying to get to bed earlier now.
Maybe someone can relate?
Thanks Steve, I will continue to follow your podcast and blog. Hope we can converse someday.
Cheers,
Mark
I look forward to chatting with you soon. You may also visit my blogs Autismslove@wordpress.com or Autismslove@blogspot.com. The wordpress blog is my most recent blog and has less information than the BlogSpot blog. Please do visit my fb page Autism’s Love: Making Connections. You are welcome to share your experiences and post resources there if you like. 🙂
Hi thanks for the invite, good to meet you. Steve
Hi those blog address’s are emails. What is your blog website address’s?