THE MYSTERY OF SOCIAL INTERACTION
Sometime ago I wrote a post called ‘the big secret’. The secret of how life works, the secret shared by people that do not have Autism. Having had a week of being completely at odds with the world and all the people in it, I feel that my social skills have slipped back all the way down the slippery slope to stage one!
Having completely misread some situations at work that everyone else had no trouble understanding, I realise now, that knowing how to say the right thing at the right time is a skill that I may never quite learn.
I have been so concerned about my lack of communication skills lately, that before every social encounter, I make a conscious decision not to say anything just in case I say something I’ll regret afterwards! How is it that all those neurotypical people at work know when to speak? They all seem so in control of their conversation. I seem to be misreading everybody I come into contact with at the moment, and I have lost the fragile confidence that I was beginning to build. I also seem to be apologising every two minutes in case I said something wrong to someone at work and I get into trouble.
I know this post seems quite negative. But i just wanted to be honest about some of the things people with Autism go through on a daily basis. I have to work harder at my social skills, and I have to regain my confidence. I have to try harder to understand what people’s facial expressions mean as this is still a mystery to me. I can tell on a very superficial level is someone seems happy or sad, but I have no idea what they are really thinking.
This post contains no solutions, tips or tricks for people with Autism, just a reality check: Autism is a life long developmental disorder!
Steve
Thank you so much for this very real, easy to understand and identify with, list of traits.
I said an emphatic yes to nearly all of it and the ones I didn’t were a mixed response, rather than a no.
I was diagnosed back in May this year and I’m 35 years old.
So, as you can probably guess I’ve had many long years of being fairly screwed up and baffled.
It’s a relief to be finally diagnosed, although I would like to further improve my life by acquiring employment that would suit my particular ‘weird and wonderful ways’.
I’ve always found it extremely difficult to hold down a job.
Any suggestions?
I’d be grateful.
Thanks.
Lucy
Hi Lucy
Thanks for your message. I’m glad you enjoyed you found the video helpful. I’m like you, a late diagnosis after years of wondering what was wrong with me. As far as work goes, are there areas of work you are particularly interested in. Would you like to work in the arts, science or humanities. I would start by trying to get a good idea of what you feel you would be good at. Then see if this is a realistic possibility to achieve.
I have been quite lucky and always worked as a musician/producer and film maker. But it has still been very difficult dealing with the social aspects of work. I never really know when I am being taken advantage of and have not always been paid what I should have been.
What types of jobs have you had, has the social aspects/office politics been a problem?
You may be interested in watching this video/podcast I did with a different Lucy. She talks about being a female on the spectrum
I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Steve
http://www.adultswithautism.org.uk
This has been a very useful article, as it has enabled me to understand my partner’s barriers to communication. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Elisha
Thanks, I’m glad you found it useful.
Best wishes
Steve http://www.adultswithautism.org.uk
Sometimes I Wonder if People With autism communicates on a different Level than those without. Often I find myself wondering why People say the Things they do as to me it sounds superficial and pointless. I think People on the Spectrum speaks more from the heart instead of the mind.
Hi Erik
I think you could be right. I know that most of the autistic people I work with tend to speak in a very honest way.
I feel more comfortable around autistic people. I understand their rules of communication better.
Regards
Steve http://www.adultswithautism.org.uk