THE MYSTERY OF SOCIAL INTERACTION
Sometime ago I wrote a post called ‘the big secret’. The secret of how life works, the secret shared by people that do not have Autism. Having had a week of being completely at odds with the world and all the people in it, I feel that my social skills have slipped back all the way down the slippery slope to stage one!
Having completely misread some situations at work that everyone else had no trouble understanding, I realise now, that knowing how to say the right thing at the right time is a skill that I may never quite learn.
I have been so concerned about my lack of communication skills lately, that before every social encounter, I make a conscious decision not to say anything just in case I say something I’ll regret afterwards! How is it that all those neurotypical people at work know when to speak? They all seem so in control of their conversation. I seem to be misreading everybody I come into contact with at the moment, and I have lost the fragile confidence that I was beginning to build. I also seem to be apologising every two minutes in case I said something wrong to someone at work and I get into trouble.
I know this post seems quite negative. But i just wanted to be honest about some of the things people with Autism go through on a daily basis. I have to work harder at my social skills, and I have to regain my confidence. I have to try harder to understand what people’s facial expressions mean as this is still a mystery to me. I can tell on a very superficial level is someone seems happy or sad, but I have no idea what they are really thinking.
This post contains no solutions, tips or tricks for people with Autism, just a reality check: Autism is a life long developmental disorder!