Procrastination definition: “The action of delaying or postponing something.”
From my observations, people on the autistic spectrum procrastinate more than the average neuro-typical.
Those of us with autism often struggle to get started on a task, to tidy our living space, make that phone call, write that essay, tackle that pile of paperwork. We are quickly overwhelmed, confused and stressed out by all the things we need to do each day.
There are many reasons why autistic people procrastinate:
- We find it difficult to plan ahead in our minds
- We are easily overwhelmed when faced with unstructured tasks
- We get confused and mentally tired very quickly
- We get anxious and stressed out easily, and switch off
- It’s difficult to break away from our obsessive interests
- It’s not always easy for us to switch from one task to another
- All of the above contribute to a lack of motivation and lethargy
- The resulting lack of achievement leads to a sense of demoralisation
Procrastination harms our ability to achieve things in life, because we are constantly putting off the things we need to do, in order to progress in our work and social life. This reluctance to get things done is very common amongst the autistic adults and teenagers I work with. Somehow, we, as autistic people have to find, or be shown how to change our mindset. We need to learn strategies that enable us to be more productive, get things done and improve our lives though taking effective action.
Sometimes on a cold, wet, winter’s morning, I sit in front of my computer. I have a to-do list that is half a mile long. On my list is a mixture of work to complete, deadlines to meet, bills to pay calls to make. I sit there staring at the impossible and growing list of things I need to do, and my brain switches off.
Instead, I become hypnotised by the delights of Google search. I check my emails, strum a few chords on my guitar, stroke the dog then make a cup of tea. After an hour or so of prize-winning levels of procrastination and avoidance of the things I really need to do, I am completely overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, at my lack of activity, and achievement. I begin to feel lazy, useless and quite depressed at my ineffectiveness, and lack of progress.
GET THINGS DONE!
How can we achieve more as an autistic adult?
Here’s what I do:
I start by resetting my day, with a quick nap to clear and refresh my brain. I get the coffee on and have a good look through my to-do list. I highlight the items that are the most important. I use different colour pens to make my list easier to follow. For example; Red for urgent, blue for less urgent, green for tasks that could be done the following day. I often take one big job on my list and break it down into small, easy to complete bits. The emphasis should really be on making life easier for yourself, or the autistic person you’re supporting. Try to feel good about each task you tick off your list.
One of the most important things in this strategy is to make sure I cross out each task I complete. This gives me a real sense of achievement and a feeling that I am making good progress in the right direction. After a couple of hours, I look at my to-do list and see that I have actually got a lot done. I am now feeling much more motivated and quite pleased with myself.
I sometimes take another short nap at this point, or do 20 minutes meditation, and stretching exercises to reset my brain, and clear out the fog. I am then ready to complete the rest of the tasks on my to-do list, and even add a few more jobs.
This strategy is not necessarily anything new or revolutionary, it’s just that sometimes those of us on the autistic spectrum need to be reminded, that if we can work to a structured plan, we are capable of achieving some really great things in our lives. Some of us are able to create our own method of overcoming procrastination. There are however, many people on the spectrum that need support to devise a good strategy to help get things done.
For these people, I would urge parents, carers, friends and autism professionals, to help people on the autistic spectrum achieve more, by helping them to improve their planning skills.
Together we can beat the curse of autistic procrastination!
Hi everyone
Just wanted to ask anyone who may have been in my situation for a little shove in the right direction. I am 49 years old and have recently discovered my 8yr old boy is autistic. the strange thing is I have always known he was different and have always had a very strong connection with him. He is undiagnosed atm but seeing a therapist who specialises in autism. I have completely immersed myself into researching about autism to a point where I really started to understand that I could also be on the spectrum. Then as my wife has gained knowledge she told me she thinks I could be on the spectrum. I took this literally and thought it would be a good idea to ask my son’s therapist the question. She told me that I am very possibly on the spectrum and this is without me revealing any of my traits. I went back to my wife to tell her and she was mortified that I had asked the question and ended the conversation. Although I weirdly feel slightly relieved as it explains a lot I’m also very afraid as I know I am different to neurotypical people. On top of that I feel exhausted all the time as I am constantly masking to fit in and I don’t even feel that I can let my guard down at home because of my wife’s reaction. I suppose from her point of view she is trying to deal with the fact our youngest boy is autistic without me being in the mix as well. I don’t even know how to approach this again as I find it hard to communicate sometimes as I fear what the outcome will be. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Don’t have kids after 40. We aren’t as happy as our peers because we don’t get as much time with our parents as someone who has younger parents
Hi Shaun,
My dad is the same! When me and my brother got diagnosed with ASD, he realised he, and many members of his family, also had it! Me and my brother have always had a stronger connection with our dad as opposed to our mum and looking back on it, it’s almost definitely due to the autism we share. When my parents first heard about the autism they were both shocked because the way we as a society think of autism is very negative. When you hear about autism or read about it you only seem to get told about the negative traits, rather than the positive traits leading people who have no real-life experience with the disorder to become ‘scared’ of it. It sounds like that might be what your wife’s reaction stems from. I suggest both of you not only research autism to help your young child, but also to assist you as an adult to prevent autistic burnout.
Since autism is often hereditary and upon having done your own research and still believing you have it, you probably do. The best thing you can do is accept yourself. You have lived a long life, and as someone who was diagnosed at 17 and told I probably had it at 16, I can tell you those 16 years of my life wondering every day why I was different and what was wrong with me was horrible and I desperately wish that I could’ve found out sooner because that would’ve made my life indescribably nicer- so all my sympathy goes out to you having to live so long with those emotions, it must not have been easy. My dad is of the mind that he doesn’t want to seek a diagnosis because he knows he has it and at his age a diagnosis won’t do much (when you’re younger you can get an EHCP and other accommodations but not as much when you’re older). When I was told I had autism, in order to help my mum understand and not be so weird about it I wrote down the list of all the symptoms I had that I though she would know (echolalia, shaking my hands, speaking ‘strangely’…) and gave it to her to show that I do have autism but its not scary or new, and this explains all those little things I do that you always thought were a bit odd to prove that its not some mad disorder but simply a different way of thinking and communicating and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s also good to emphasise that autism does not mean you are going to become the next Elon musk or Temple Grandin because that’s also an annoying misconception. And if your wife says ‘everyone is a bit autistic’ give her a slap round the chops from me x.
Find local autism groups and just chat with them, both online or irl, because this will help you gain a much greater understanding of yourself and your son.
Autism is just a different way of thinking, if I remember correctly around 1 in 100 have autism meaning many people you went to school with, are neighbours with or work with will almost definitely have it too, its much more common than people think but because they have such a skewed perception of it they don’t realise.
I know you posted this ages ago so you might not see it, but if you do then feel free to ask anything because my dad is in the same situation as you, he was 54 when he realised he probably had ASD and it made his whole life clearer. He works a remote job in IT, is obsessed with tech and likes everything to be very organised and on time (which is the pretty much the epitome of autism). I hope you are all doing well. It can be really difficult so I wish you all the best. 🙂
“Sometimes those of us on the autistic spectrum need to be reminded that if we can work to a structured plan, we are capable of achieving some really great things in our lives.”
This entire article hits very close to home, but this is a particularly great reminder. I just watched some of your videos and visited your site as I highly suspect I’m somewhere on the spectrum, though no formal diagnosis. I struggle most at work, even though I really enjoy my job and my coworkers are pleasant. It’s very difficult to remain on track in a chaotic environment, and it helps a lot to have structure in my workflow. To use a metaphor, if I build the track and stay on it, the train gets to its destination right on time.
Do you have any other advice for maintaining composure in the workplace? In particular, do you have a strategy for returning to task after your concentration is broken? I I find meditation in the morning and during my lunch hour can make a very pronounced difference, but the effect fades sooner or later depending on the quality and duration of the meditation.
Thank you so much for your videos and this wonderful website.
Jon
Hi, I have been diagnosed with ASD a year ago at the age of 59 , at the moment I am having difficulty with coming to terms with it, I feel I need a bit of support and would love to hear and meet other adults with ASD
Suzanne
Hi Suzanne
Thanks for contacting me. Do you live in the UK? There may be some social groups in your area, for people on the spectrum. You may me able to get some info from the National Autistic Society. Their number is available from there website.
I think that quite a few newly diagnosed adults will struggle at first after an autism diagnosis. I found that I had to reassess my whole way of life after my diagnosis at 48. It’s also common that apart from the autism, many of us are also struggling with depression and anxiety. This part is best treated by a GP, or preferably a psychiatrist as they will have a more specialist knowledge of medication and other treatments.
In my case, things have definitely improved since my diagnosis. Generally, the newly diagnosed adults I speak to, eventually find they are much happier once they have had time to take their diagnosis on board.
Hope this helps.
Best wishes
Steve
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